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segunda-feira, 4 de julho de 2011

Interview with Black Veil Brides in Kerrang! magazine 30/6/2011

A grilling from Jeremy Paxman is a walk in in the park next to K!'s feared hat full of questions. The innocuous enough premise - picking bits of paper with questions written on from a piece of headgear and answering them - has a habit of unearthing the strangest details about your favourite bands. So it goes that we put it in front of Black Veil Brides, what we expected to get were some saucy stories of debauchery and decadence. Instead, the Hollywood rockers revealed themselves as perhaps the most peculiar outfit in modern rock....
Kerrang!: You're all trapped on a desert island, who is the most likely to get eaten first?
Ashley: You guys are idiots if you say me, 'cause I got chicken legs.
Jake: I wouldn't eat anybody. Have you seen them?
Andy: Have you seen [guitarist] Jinxx's butt? It's pretty meaty!
Jake: You wouldn't want to eat it.
Andy: If we burned the meat we wouldn't tell.
Jake: We could wrap it in bacon.
Andy: So we'll eat Jinxx then.
Ashley: Sorry buddy. It's because we love you.
Kerrang!: The Mafia offer to you one free hit on someone. Who do you choose?
Andy: Can we go back in time and kill anybody?
Kerrang!: No, they're already dead.
Andy: Okay, no. I wouldn't want to kill anybody!
Kerrang!: If you were guaranteed to get away with murder, who would you choose?
Andy: I don't want to get away with murder! I'd have to live with that for the rest of my life. I would never want to live with killing somebody.
CC: The crying baby on the plane, there you go!
Andy: Aww, dude, you're and asshole!
Kerrang!: Who is the smelliest person on teh bus?
All: Jinxx!
Ashley: Garbage man on the garbage can! He'll sleep in the hallway.
Kerrang!: What's the worst thing you've ever seen a bandmate doing?
Andy: Eating trash out of a garbage can! That's Jinxx again.
Jinxx: Fuck you. I'm going to answer this one. Back in the early days, we were touring Africa. Jake usually eats everybody else's food when he gets really drunk late at night. And yes, I'll eat out of a trashcan, alright. But he was so hungry and there wasn't anyone else's food on the bus for him to eat so he actually killed a helpless baby giraffe and ate it.
Kerrang!: An angel tells you when you're going to die, but says you can pick any way you want to go. What do you pick?
Jinxx: Driving in to a tornado.
CC: No! This is too easy. Sex to death!
Kerrang!: Have you heard of many cases of death by sex?
Andy: Actually there was one. There was this Asian couple that grew up in a very small society and were encouraged not to have sex until they were married. They had sex on their wedding night and they both had heart attacks when the ejaculated and they died. So there you have it. Death by sex; that's how we want to go.
Kerrang!: Which member of Black Veil Brides is most likely to get arrested on a night out?
Jake: Everybody!
Andy: It's kind of a crapshot at that point.
Kerrang!: What's been your most debauched moment?
Andy: (Evasively) ...No. Just no.
Kerrang!: Who in the band has the most irritating personal habits?
Andy: I could answer by saying Jake ate a giraffe...
Jake: I think the answer could be all of us.
Andy: Yeah, I think we all have stuff wrong with us.
Ashley: We're all dysfunctional. It's cool.
Andy: We enjoy our dysfunctions.
Ashley: I love how Andy looks at us as if to say, 'I've got that on you, I've got something on you, and you...'.
Kerrang!: What is your biggest fear that you know is completely irrational and wimpy?
Jinxx: I'm terrified of sock puppets.
Andy: Old black and white footage from The Wizard Of Oz. It freaks me out.
Jake: Spiders.
Andy: What about you CC? Everything?
CC: Yeah. I'm a hypochondriac but despite that my biggest fear would be a girl having my kid against my will.
Kerrang!: What's the best way to seduce a member of the opposite sex?
CC: Play in Black Veil Brides!
Andy: Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Kerrang!: What invention do you wish you had been credited with?
Andy: Toilet Buddy. It's a net that you put in your toilet that would catch your keys, your phone, or your wallet or change, or anything else you might drop in the toilet. Unfortunately it's an invention I've not yet perfected as it would also catch your poo. So I need to find a way to strain the shit out of it and keep all the other things like a straining situation. It might work if there were sharp razors that could cut the poo while it's coming through it, sort of like a meat grinder but then you keep the wallet and change in there.
Jake: He's got hundreds of these. Spy chips is a good one.
Andy: Spy Chips are chips that you put out at a party that have little cameras in them so you can see what everyone's doing. Dog Phone - it's a leash for a dog that is also a phone.
Kerrang!: You've really thought these through have you?
Andy: What's wrong with it? You'll never miss a call because you can't reach your phone because you're walking your dog! Peanut butter and jelly flavoured bread so you don't have to worry about the condiments because it's already done. Injecting cheddar cheese into a hard boiled egg - it's called Cheese Egg. It's if you want to eat a hard boiled egg but you want more flavour.
Jake: How would you make a redwood deck?
Andy: I don't know. I've got nothing for that. Most of my inventions are impractical. Boob Phone - it's a phone you put into the bra of your significant other so that while you're making love you can put your ear to the breast and talk into it. Pants Phone - it's exactly what it sounds like. Monkey Translator - it's a translator that you put in a monkey's head and when he makes a noise it translates into human speak so you can talk to him.

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